Why Your Brand Story Isn’t Landing (And How to Fix It)
Picture this.
You and your team have spent months pouring time into your brand story.
Late nights. Long hours.
Carefully chosen words, meticulously researched and tested - probably even debated over.
You’ve even got a heartwarming origin story that you know will resonate.
But when you put it out into the world?
Crickets.
Customers scroll past, shrug, and move on.
What the f#@k!, right?
Here’s the truth: most brand stories don’t fail because the business has nothing to say.
They fail because they’re told the wrong way—or to the wrong audience.
The good news?
We can turn this around.
Let’s break down why your brand story might not be hitting the mark - and then I’m going to share how you can fix it.
Too much jargon, not enough clarity
Your story shouldn’t sound like a press release. If your audience has to decode buzzwords or sit through paragraphs of “industry-leading solutions,” you’ve already lost them.
Take a look at this example:
“Founded in 2015, XYZ Solutions is a leading provider of innovative, best-in-class solutions that leverage cutting-edge technology to deliver unparalleled value to clients across multiple verticals.”
Sounds impressive, right?
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
This intro is oozing with buzzwords (“leading,” “innovative,” “cutting-edge,” “unparalleled”) and says almost nothing specific.
Let’s simplify:
“Since 2015, we’ve helped small businesses save time and money by simplifying their day-to-day operations with smart, easy-to-use software.”
You tell me - which version is more compelling? Which version is going to make me feel more confident about your ability to solve my problem?
The point here is simple: strip it back. Write like you’re talking to a smart friend over coffee. A golden rule could be that if it wouldn’t fly in conversation, it doesn’t belong in your copy.
All about you, not enough about them
Your brand story isn’t really about you—it’s about what your customer gets from you.
Too often, businesses write “About Us” pages that read like a resume instead of a mirror.
But wait - the page is about you… right?
Well, sort of.
But I’d encourage you to flip your perspective. Every detail of your story should show your customer how it benefits them.
Instead of “we were founded in 2015,” say, “for the past decade, we’ve been helping [your customer] solve [their problem].”
Seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many brands fall short here.
No emotion, no hook
Facts are forgettable. Feelings stick.
Fact: “This watch has a 40-hour power reserve.”
Feeling: “A watch that keeps ticking long after your day ends.”
See the difference?
If your brand story doesn’t spark curiosity, empathy, or excitement, people won’t care enough to keep reading.
It’s your job to find the heartbeat and share it with your audience.
What drove you to start this? What problem are you obsessed with solving?
Those are the sparks that light up a story.
Too long, too scattered
We all know grabbing - and holding - someone’s attention is the real battle we’re all fighting as content marketers and salespeople.
Customers don’t have the patience for a winding novel. What’s that saying? When you try to please everybody, you end up pleasing nobody? A story that tries to cover everything ends up saying nothing.
You’ve got to keep it sharp.
One page, one clear through-line, one message.
The goal isn’t to say everything—it’s to say the right thing.
A simple framework to fix it
So… how do you make your story land?
Truthfully, there isn’t always a silver bullet here. There are a lot of factors that could lead to your message not resonating with your audience.
But I can tell you that the fix isn’t more words—it’s the right ones.
A strong brand story comes down to three simple beats that keep customers listening.
1. Clarity — what you do, plain and simple
2. Emotion — why it matters, and why you care
3. Action — what the customer should do next
That’s it.
Clear, human, and focused on your audience.
Bringing it all together
Your story isn’t failing because it’s not good—it’s failing because it’s not told the right way. Get the clarity, emotion, and focus right, and suddenly customers stop scrolling, lean in, and listen.
Because when your brand story lands, it doesn’t just get read. It gets remembered.
I’ll throw it back to you: what makes a brand story worth remembering? And if you’re looking for one of your own, let’s start the conversation
-MB-
